Sex. Who doesn’t enjoy it now and again? In fact, some of us enjoy it A LOT, right? And if we don’t now, I’m guessing we’d like to in the future. A friend shared this article from Greta Christina, who has some interesting things to say about the demonizing of so-called casual sex. I thought it would be good to share something written specifically from the perspective of a female who is also wise enough to reveal her own limitations regarding the subject. Click here to read it.
My personal thoughts on the matter are pretty broad, as you can imagine. For starters though, let’s just be clear on the act of coitus. Sex is, in all its simplicity, an act by biological organisms in order to replicate themselves and carry forward the gene pool, hopefully in a way that has enough genetic diversity to outsmart any virus that may want to co-op that gene pool for its own design. Furthermore, anything that lives does it. I mean come on, just listen to the song.
It ain’t love they’re talking about. Or is it? Ok, so the previous paragraph is a very loose biological explanation but it’s a good place to start without any of the hang-ups of belief and taboo. What are we left with beyond the biology of it all? Well, belief obviously. What else is there? Some view sex as a sacred act, given as a gift from God Almighty. If this is the case, God was very generous with his gift. But hey, He is God, right?
Some might say sex is a way to move powerful creative energies through your Chakras in order to merge and connect with god-consciousness. Still others use it as a form of manifestation, taking the idea of the law of attraction to a whole new level. Others, like myself, might say that sex is whatever you make of it! If you decide that it will mean nothing but a way to get your rocks off, then so it is. If you decide that it is a sacred act that will merge you and your partner’s energies forever, then so it is.
But here’s the thing, one must be mindful of the gap between what you believe about sex and how you actually interact with it. Your actions in this matter are more important than what you think. See the fall of Pastor Ted Haggard for a brilliantly clear example of this. What I try to encourage in people (male or female) is self-empowerment which absolutely includes their own sexuality. What does this mean? It means we go deep to root out and strip away programming and collective cultural neurosis about sexuality so that one can have a clear view for themselves where they fit into the psycho-sexual schema.
Given time you will see sex as energy, like everything else in this existence, and energy is molded and mapped through consciousness. Without consciousness it’s just…well…energy. But the key to sex is always consciousness, i.e. being aware of what is motivating your actions. Why am I doing what I am doing? This mindfulness doesn’t mean that you won’t still act in ways that seem antithetical to our collective cultural sexual morays. In fact I have found that you may actually do it more often. You may have to in order to break through old patterns. It does mean that you will be motivated by a higher awareness that is not based upon fear or lack but on courage and exploration.
It would take a lot more real estate here to go into all of the historic fallacies regarding sex, patriarchy, the early history of marriage, and the biology and belief of jealousy. The list goes on, but you don’t want to read that much and I don’t want to write that much. I’m sure if you’re still reading you have a pretty good idea of these already. Suffice to say that, “Sex is great. Sex is good. If I could have it every day, you know I surely would.” Sorry, had to get lyrical for minute.
Seriously though, sex, like anything, is energy to be harnessed by the conscious mind for all manner of wonderful experiences. Some earth bound and some beyond. The trick is developing the consciousness so you are no longer ruled by the thought and act of sex but are in fact master of it. If you start with the root of your awareness and sift through that hot mess, you’re likely to see a major shift, not just in your experience of sexuality but in everything that you do. This obviously goes for both women and men. My experience is that this approach bypasses some of the stickiness in the gender aspects of our sexual exploration while still honoring what the strong masculine and strong feminine bring to the table. In consciously using this energy, we’ll soon find that it facilitates an expansion and growth not previously experienced.
One more for the road then?
As always, happy to hear your thoughts on this sexy subject. If you like, please share.